Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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