i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm always down for nudity.
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