PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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