Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize