just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
