Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize