You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
