are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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