Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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