All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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