There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I need moral support for this bender
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
