i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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