turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
