You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
