hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
