she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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