He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
