We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
