Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
