It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
