i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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