I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
