My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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