so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
