You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
