Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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