...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
