My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Don't tell me you're on acid again
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
