At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
