I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
