is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
