I want to walk on stilts...naked
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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