my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have aggressive nipples.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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