What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
