I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Randomize
