i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
