Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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