you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
