Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
