i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
