I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
