i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
why is half of my head shaved?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
