I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
