If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
