found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
