i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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