Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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