About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Randomize
