open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
