She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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