I wish I only lived at night.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he shaved USA in his pubs
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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