Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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