fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
