Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
