If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
