my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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