Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
i think im in europe. pls send help
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
