If i come over, it means nothing
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize