He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Sober January is a disaster.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
