Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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