I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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